Trauma

Embracing Chaos for Personal Development

By Azadeh Weber

Within the human being, homeostasis can occur on a physiological or psychological level. Homeostasis refers to a system’s tendency towards equilibrium between interdependent elements and equilibrium is a state of equal balance between all interdependent parts. An example of homeostasis on the physiological level is when a person becomes cold and starts shivering to develop heat in order to restore his or her body temperature to normal range.

Physiological homeostasis can also have negative implications, such as when a person is unable to lose weight beyond a certain point, despite best practices. On a psychological level, homeostasis may have negative or positive implications as well. The purpose of this article is to describe some of the negative implications of psychological homeostasis, so as to begin to harness the growth potential in chaos. A cross country runner is familiar with the notion that for every uphill battle, there follows a time to coast downhill.

This being said, our emotions may operate automatically via homeostasis. If a person is feeling sad or angry the person may automatically distract themselves with something pleasant in order to return to the emotional state he or she is accustomed to as normal. This drive towards enhancing pleasure is based on the pleasure principle, rather than the reality principle. With regards to anger, the inability for anger to ground itself due to near constant distraction prevents a person from sublimating aggressiveness into assertiveness, leaving the person to experience anger in a dissociative state when it does arise. When in a dissociative state a person’s thoughts are disconnected from their consciousness. This means the person’s thoughts are split off from the person’s heart center and the person may become prone to cruelty.

There are times when homeostasis prevents the person from being able to sit with an uncomfortable emotion long enough to properly actualize the growth potential within each emotion. When an uncomfortable emotion is not grounded the risk is it may come up again in the future and interfere with a person’s ability to align their values and behaviors. A case in point is when a person has unprocessed trauma and as a result, experiences anxiety whenever he or she encounters an environmental cue associated with that trauma. In turn, the anxiety may impair the person’s attention to detail and lead to various mistakes. This happens quite suddenly and often at a below threshold level of awareness, catching the individual off guard. For example, if at the time of trauma, the air was cold and dry, now the person may get triggered by experiencing that climate in the future. The body starts to relive the trauma and the autonomic nervous system activates into fight or flight mode. The air and temperature can trigger a stress response in the individual and he or she doesn’t know why. Once the trauma is processed the environmental trigger and “existential anxiety” start to dissolve. Associated symptoms of anxiety such as impaired attention, difficulty focusing and lapses in executive functioning also start to dissolve.

According to the notion of Homeostasis, families also develop recurrent patterns of interaction that maintain the stability of the family, particularly in times of stress (Becvar & Becvar, 2009). This is referred to as systemic homeostasis and it becomes problematic when families act in ways that maintain a problem rather than change it for the better. An extreme case of this is when a family enables a member’s drug addiction by making excuses for this member and assuming the responsibilities of the member. Overtime, without responsibilities the member further loses meaning and purpose in their life and numbs the pain with more drugs.

An antidote to falling into a cycle of unproductive homeostasis is developing the inner resources, tools and social network to thrive in times of chaos. Embracing chaos is important because every step into positive change is experienced as the unknown. The unknown is unpredictable in the same way as chaos. For many people, this is antithesis to the pleasure principle. The unknown, the unpredictable and the mysterious may arouse fear within the rigid personality structure, causing the individual to distract themselves from the undesired emotion by returning to homeostasis, rather than embracing the mysterious and shifting into a flow state towards positive change. By all means, structure and order are important. However, strength of character develops in response to unpredictability so the value of chaos, wherein the mysterious lies, cannot be understated.

A sign of maturity is a person who has replaced the pleasure principle with the reality principle. In his book, “The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable, “ author Nassim Taleb (2007) explains the value of thriving in times of chaos. According to Taleb, resilience is the ability for a person to return to a normal state after the disaster. Returning to normal state after disaster is a positive presentation of homeostasis. Nonetheless, Taleb points out that there is a more preferable state to resilience and that state is anti-fragility. Anti-fragility is a preferred state to resilience because an anti-fragile person doesn’t simply return to their previous state after a disaster, he or she grows and thrives due to the chaos. Of course, perpetual chaos is not what we are after and we certainly don’t want to instigate chaos to benefit from it. Yet, chaos is unavoidable.

An effective life strategy is to have some psychological tools, namely emotional and social skills to leverage chaos when it shows up in our lives. One such strategy is calling out to Allah when we are feeling vulnerable, so as to draw closer to him. In this way we may consolidate our inner resources and reconnect to our strength and patience. Certainly, gratitude for everything, for all things are from Allah, is a blessing.

Taleb, N. N. (2007). The Black Swan: The Impact of the Highly Improbable. Becvar, D. S., & Becvar, R. J. (2009). Family therapy: A systemic integration (7th ed. ed.). Boston: Allyn & Bacon.

Coping Skills: Know Them, Use Them, Enjoy Them.

By Monique Hassan

What do drugs, exercise, deep breathing, overeating, journaling and chocolate cake all have in common?

These are all examples of coping skills, albeit they are not all healthy coping skills (I do not condone some of those), but none the less they are all utilized by people as coping skills. What are coping skills you may be thinking, I am glad you asked!

A coworker at a behavioral health hospital once told me the difference between us (the staff) and the patients was one critical element, our coping skills.

 

A coping skill is essentially a method an individual employs to affectively minimize, control and handle stressful situations (or triggers, see more information on those here). You utilize coping skills without even realizing it, but to truly hone in on our coping skills enables us to have strategies to control our behavioral and psychological reactions to events. As my Mother likes to say, “it is not what happens to you that matters, it is how you react to it”.

 

We have all seen the clique movie scene where the heartbroken person listens to sad, depressing music and eats a pint of ice cream. This my friends is not a healthy coping skill, however, there are much worse that people utilize. Many drug addicts began abusing drugs to numb their pain instead of handling it. A young girl cuts herself in an effort to try and make her chaotic emotions manifest physically and signal to the world “I need help”. A man becomes aggressive at the stranger who accidentally bumped into him and wants to fight him, all because he had a bad day at work. A woman drinks herself into a drunken stupor to cope with the fight she just had with her husband. These are all examples of people using very negative and destructive coping strategies.

Maladaptive coping skills are not only dangerous to the individual, they can be dangerous to those around them, add stress to relationships, deepen emotional pain alongside guilt and create worse situations which lead to more negative coping skills.

An affective coping skill for me may not be as beneficial for you. We must identify our unique coping skills that suit our needs. During a stressful situation or trigger, the first step is to recognize and validate your emotions. It is okay to feel sad or angry, what is not okay is to lash out at others or yourself. Remove yourself from the situation if possible, take deep breaths and feel your emotions instead of running from them.

Look at what is upsetting you and try to see the bigger picture. Sure, it is upsetting for your car to be totaled in a car accident, but if you are alive then you have something to be thankful for. It is difficult to deal with a divorce, but this may open the door to a better marriage in the future and saved you from more heartbreak. If an exam comes back with a bad grade, look at the weakest subject areas and determine a better studying plan for next time.

Do you see the pattern here, look for the positives and focus on optimistic thinking. Become a master of positive self-talk and combat those irrational, negative thoughts with positive self-affirmations (hitting on cognitive behavioral therapy here).

 

After the immediate need to stabilize emotions and essentially self soothe, a variety of coping skills can come into play. This is a list of many positive coping skills, try to find a few in this list that can be beneficial for you or come up with 2 more of your own.

  • Painting

  • Read a book

  • Walking in a park

  • Exercise

  • Journaling/poetry

  • Listening to Quranic Recitation or Biblical quotes

  • Working with one’s hands on a DIY project

  • Yoga

  • Deep breathing and/or meditation

  • Prayer

  • Looking at pictures of favorite memories

  • Drawing flowers

  • Go for a drive somewhere scenic

  • Hug a friend

  • Aromatherapy

  • Perform a random act of kindness for someone else

Let me know in the comments below what coping skills work best for you.